Thursday, September 19, 2013

World's Okayest Mom & a FREE PRINTABLE

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(If you know, please tell me so I can give credit!)
I found this picture one day while I was searching for designs I could draw on coffee mugs. (Thanks, Pinterest!)

I found it inspiring.

That is EXACTLY who I want to be.

I am fully ok with the fact that I will not be a perfect mom.
I will not pretend to be.

I try recipes that don't taste right. Sometimes I forget that there is a load in the wash (for a few days). My house isn't dusted or vacuumed or disinfected nearly enough. I yell at my kids and then feel really bad about it. Patience is a virtue I'm still working on. I have emotional outbursts more often than I care to admit. I don't spend enough time actually playing with my kids. More often than not, by the time 2pm rolls around, I'm more ready for their nap time than they are.

Right now as I type, my 3 year old is in minute 42 of fake crying in his room because he doesn't want to nap.

But, I'm taking baby steps.

"Progress. Just make progress. It's okay to have setbacks and the need for do-overs. It's okay to draw a line in the sand and start over again - and again. Just make sure you're moving the line forward. Move forward. Take baby steps, but at least take steps…"
(Lysa Terkeurst in Unglued - Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions)

I have only been at this "being a mom" thing for a little over 3 1/2 years. Sometimes on really challenging days, I have no idea how I'm going to get out of my "funk," as I call it. That's why it's good to remind myself that...

"I have a choice to have destructive thoughts or constructive thoughts right now. I can wallow in what's wrong and make things worse, or I can ask God for a better perspective to help me see good even when I don't feel good." (Lysa Terkeurst in Unglued - Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions)

I'm learning. I'm growing.

And, so are my kids.

In this moment, I'm hoping that by not giving in to the temptation to go talk to him about his fake crying, he'll start to grasp the fact that whining doesn't get my attention anymore.

As of two days ago, I announced to our 3 year old that my ears don't listen to whining. So far, so good. It actually allows me to not lose my patience. I simply remind him that I won't hear the whining. It's shocking how fast his words become intelligible.

Shocking.

Truth is, I want my kids to know that it's ok to make mistakes.

They see me do it e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y.

That's why even before they can understand it, we started apologizing to them when we do something that deserves an apology.

By the way, there are not too many things that are more humbling than apologizing to a 3 year old (especially when you are apologizing for doing adult versions of the tantrums that the 3 year old usually throws).

We want them to know that even mommy and daddy do things wrong sometimes. Sometimes mommy and daddy need to say they're sorry, too.

How can our children truly understand and experience grace if they never get to experience giving it?

(By the way, the little mister is FINALLY asleep)

Apologizing to our children opens up the chance to have meaningful conversations with them about how we sin and God forgives us. We show them how we pray and ask God to help us to show patience, kindness, respect and gentleness to one another. We demonstrate that in and of ourselves, we will fail, but with God's help, we can succeed.

So, I wrote something on the chalkboard in our kitchen for a while as a friendly reminder to myself. It says, 'Be the mom you want them to remember.'

The mom I want them to remember is humble, willing to admit that she's not a perfect mom, but she's depending on God to help her to be the mom they need. I want them to remember a gentle mom who gives grace when she can and discipline when necessary. I want them to remember me pushing them to do their best and knowing that I'll be there loving them regardless. I want them to remember that I am a work in progress, just like they are, and that we can be a team - pushing each other toward the people God wants us to be.


So, I designed this little printable for you. If you feel the same way, download it. Print it out and put it next to the coffee pot. Save it as your lock screen on your phone or tablet. Let it gently remind you through the day that it's ok to fail because kids need to know their parents aren't perfect either. Let it remind you that you don't want to be remembered as the perfect mom, but instead the mom that was demonstrating humility, love, grace, truth, gentleness, patience, repentance,… Let them remember the real you.



Download
Feel free to leave me a comment! I'd love to hear your story!
-kt

19 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing your talent! This will go up in my house!

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  2. Thank you, this came at the perfect time. I'm changing my perspective on motherhood, trying to do better while also recognizing my limits. Reminders have been finding me every day, giving me the courage to go at it again tomorrow. Today, it was this post. A prayer answered by a blog, lol! My sincere gratitude to you :)

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    1. I'm so glad! I'm trying to be more realistic and honest about my limitations, too. That's why I wrote this!

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  3. This is so good and so true and so honest!!

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  4. LOVE this...I need to put your printable in a spot where I see it often.

    I totally know what you mean about the thing of nothing being more humbling than apologizing to a 3 yr. old. (Or for me it's now a 5 yr. old.) But I'm always even more humbled by the way he extends grace and forgiveness.

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    1. They can be sweet, can't they? ;)

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  5. I remember how my mum is when I was growing up. I promised myself when I grew up, I won't be like her.

    Years later, now with two kids, one being 3 1/2 yrs old and the other 6 months old, I am ok with saying no to the oldest. I have more patience, to a zen level because if I break down, I have to be honest, I would stress out. I pay attention to my kids, offering cuddles when needed and apologising for tantrum. My daughter understands mama sometimes go just as crazy as she does. I let her have a freedom to choose though some days I over rule her because her choice of clothing can be painfully bright.

    Being a mother is tough. But I love it.

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    1. I'm very grateful that there are others on this journey with me!

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  6. Today I totally forgot I was supposed to have dinner with my son in his school. I paid for my dinner. When I picked him up, he asked why I didn't come for the dinner as he waited for me to show up. I felt terrible. I guess we can only keep trying our best with Gods help and when they grow up they will see we gave our best.

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  7. Thank you for the download! There are many times when I stress over what I'm NOT doing for my daughters. It's times like this, however, when I read a lovely quote that I remember the importance of simply being a great example for my girls. Patience, understanding, compassion and kindness are so important. Have a great day!

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  8. Thank you so much for posting this! This has inspired me and helped me more than you may ever know! I have a 3 1/2 year old girl and a 15 month old boy. My husband tells me I am the best mom and I try too hard, but at the end of the day I feel like I am failing and could play with my kids more and yell less. hearing this makes me appreciate that i am not the best mom, but taking baby steps to grow and learn along with them is the best thing I can do. i am not perfect and thats ok. Not that i have ever tried to be "the best mom", i just try to be me, but lately I dont like the side of me that comes out when a 3 year old brings me to my limits. I can definitly accept being the worlds okayest mom. That makes me smile.

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    1. I'm so happy to hear this! I love the idea of being the world's okayest mom. :) I think it's good to be vulnerable and honest with our kids, too, so they don't feel that we hold them to unattainable standards. I want my kids to try their best and if their 'best' isn't the world's best, that's ok!

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  9. I love this printable!!! My husband and I go to bed every night re-hashing the days events, thinking how we could have handled situations with our kids differently. I would love to hang this up so it is a constant reminder to help us through the rougher days. I would love to also have one with "parents" replaceing "mom", so it could be a reminder to both my husband and I.

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  10. This is something that you will be able to use years later, to handle not being perfect long after the children are grown. I have raised four. I was guilty a lot. I yelled at my kids, but remembered to tell them I loved them everyday. And I mean it. They knew it. I would start over the next day trying to be better and I sometimes succeeded. Other times I didn't do so well. So, now. I just had a day similar to the ones you describe with my husband. He had a stroke last year. He has outbursts and fits like you describe above. Out of nowhere. He is 58. I am glad you wrote this and that I came upon it. It helps even when your children have children and you need these things. Never give up. That is what my husband has said for years. So I won't. You can even do it when you are 55. Thank you for this.

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    1. Thank you for sharing! You're so sweet.

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  11. Thank you for the download. Such a good reminder. 13 year olds can be tricky.

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  12. Any chance you would make a version of this printable for stepmoms? :) I love the concept behind your printable, but I'm not a mom so I can't put up "mom" signs in my home without feeling I'd offend my stepsons...

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